If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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