we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
