Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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