just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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