Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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