I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
