Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
