sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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