he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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