I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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