We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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