my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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