dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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