Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
