I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
