Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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