i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
