he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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