Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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