I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
