shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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