Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize