Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
