hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
