but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
