he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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