no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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