Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
