So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
