Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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