Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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