I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
