That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
