So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
