C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
