Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
