I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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