matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize