how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
