It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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