Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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