so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
