you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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