Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
