Soap is not a condiment
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
