Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
