if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There r osticjed everywhere
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
