Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
