I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
