i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
