Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize