I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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