we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
