why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
