dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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