Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
