it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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