Got a toothbrush?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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