So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Farmville is her only friend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
