So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
