:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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