I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
