I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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