how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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