I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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