Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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(512): View more from Texas

Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(908): View more from New Jersey

btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.

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(435): View more from Utah

it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.

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(210): View more from Texas

After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.

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(231): View more from Michigan

FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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(732): View more from New Jersey

We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard

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(703): View more from Virginia

You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.

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