His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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