Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
COCAINE IS GR8
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