Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
