She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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