your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
