she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
