just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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